“Relax, everything is out of control”

I once heard a Buddhist teaching through a podcast (Under The Skin for the people who like to listen to podcasts, particularly about spirituality, I highly recommend!) where the monk explained that here in the west we tend to say “Panic! Panic! Everything is out of control” but in Buddhism they would say “Relax, everything is out of control!” This completely changed my perspective, as a Capricorn I can be a total control freak if I don’t check myself regularly. But when you really think about it, if something is truly out of our control which by the time your wedding day comes it most likely is then what is the use in panicking. The weather cannot be changed, its a shame that your friend can’t make it all of a sudden, but are you going to let that ruin your day? You have put a lot of time and effort into making things perfect already and you’ve already assigned everyone their own jobs. All that matters now is that you sit back, relax and allow everyone around you to do their jobs whilst you are pampered and dressed ready to look, be and feel the absolute best you can be when you walk down the aisle in a few hours.

If like so many people you struggle with anxiety, it is firstly really important that you make sure that you have a close friend or relative that you can offload your worries to so that they can help you through the process. Maybe they could take some of the workload or maybe they’re just there to listen to you vent about how a certain guest, bridesmaid, or family member is not co operating. We see this all the time! But as a bride you feel torn between your expectations and keeping them happy. This is yourself and your partners big day! So as important as it is for you to listen and understand their view point, its just as important that they remember that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to fulfil your wishes, dreams and expectations of your perfect wedding day. Just remember that the small things (like one bridesmaid deciding they want shorter nails than everyone else or a little more or less hair around their face) isn’t going to ruin your day, but an argument or worrying about it most certainly will.

On the other hand, if they are being a total Bridesmaid-zilla, and you’re not the only one that thinks so, then its totally within your rights as the Bride to discuss this with them and express your feelings on the situation, and you wouldn’t be the first person to change your mind about having someone be your bridesmaid to avoid conflict on your big day.

“I Am...”

My favourite thing in the world is manifestation through vision boards and affirmations. I use these techniques in my everyday life to help me reach my goals and keep me on track. A vision board for those who don’t know, is kind of the same idea as when you were a teenager and you used to cut out magazine clippings of people you aspire to be or look like... a mood board of sorts. A collection of images, words and ideas that you can look at everyday that will push you towards manifesting your dreams. In this case, your dream wedding. I feel like I could talk about vision boards all day so instead of making this post longer than necessary (as I’m sure you’re super busy planning your wedding day) I will come back to the concept another day. For now I want to focus on affirmations. An affirmation is a phrase that the more we repeat, the more we believe it, until it becomes our reality. I’d recommend repeating it at least once a day but please feel free to repeat it as many times as you wish! When you wake up.... “today is a good day, I’m going to get so much done” when you go to sleep “I’m proud of my accomplishments, and how productive I have and continue to be” you can even leave yourself sticky notes around the house to remind yourself of how amazing you are! “I am calm, I have everything under control”

The trick with affirmations is to say it as though it already is, you already believe it! “Everything is running smoothly and I have created my perfect wedding day”

“Inhale...Exhale”

In all the hustle and bustle remember to take a breather. The whole week of your wedding can be overwhelming. With so much to do and people to meet, rehearsals, and things to organise and final checks, it’s easy to forget to stop and take some time for yourself and enjoy it. Remember to set some time aside for just you or for you and your partner to enjoy each others company and take it all in. It’s going to go so fast and as soon as its here it’ll be just as soon be gone.

If it starts to get too much take a step back, close your eyes, take a deep inhale, count to four and exhale. Repeat this exercise for as long as you need. This will slow your heart rate and your thoughts so that you can take a calmer approach.

Another exercise I like when things get a little too much is to count to 10 but whilst you are counting you have to find the numbers in the room. What can you see?

1. dress
2. shoes
3. bridesmaids
4. sets of eyelashes
5. bananas
6. And so on...
7. 
   

It doesn’t matter what you count. The point is that it is a distraction, for few minutes you are not concentrating on other people or the things that you were worrying about anymore and as an added bonus you are taking in a clearer picture and better memories of your wedding day.

“Lists”

Trying to remember everything that needs to be done, paid for, ordered, sent, mixed in with your usual day to day to do lists can be very confusing and it will be really easy to forget things or get confused. A list is the obvious answer right? But lists can be disheartening in themselves, particularly if it’s a big list and you have a busy lifestyle like so many of us do these days.

Why not try breaking it down a bit? Write one big list to start with. Then you can either delegate jobs to your wedding party. Your partner, your parents, your siblings, your bridesmaids (after all its all part of their duty as your nearest and dearest to make your life easier right?) Things that you must really do yourself, or if like me your view is that “if you want something done properly, do it yourself” then prioritise your list. What needs to be done urgently, what needs to be paid, what can wait? Make several short lists instead of one big list and I guarantee it will be a whole lot less daunting. One list of (for example) 5 small jobs a day is a lot easier to accomplish than one big list of 50 jobs to get through. You will feel more productive and motivated.

But what if you don’t manage to get something done on the day you planned to? The last thing you need to do is beat yourself up about it.

Instead of saying “i really don’t have time to do this today I’m going to have so much to do tomorrow”

Try rephrasing... “I’ve had a really busy day and I still managed to get 4 out of 5 of my jobs done today! Tomorrow I will prioritise (the final thing on your list from today) and I’ll have the other jobs done in no time”

Be realistic though. If you have super hectic day planned at work on Monday, give yourself a break and give yourself a shorter simpler list on Monday, if any at all.

“In the Moment”

I think what you could (will hopefully) take from all of this is to remember to live in the moment. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and if someone else is pressuring you then politely remind them that you are already very busy and this wedding is about you and your partner, as much as you want everyone else to have a good time, if they don’t like the music but you love it that’s what matters. Don’t sweat the small stuff because once you’ve walked down the aisle, it won’t even cross your mind. And remember not to anticipate any bridges until you get to them because the anticipation will cause you more distress than the actual bridge itself, I promise!